Date #10 - Down by the Sea

For our tenth date, we went to visit an old familiar place....

the ocean.

We actually went to dinner across the street from the ocean, at the Fairview Inn Restaurant at Brant Rock in Marshfield. We had a gift card that was a Christmas present from our favorite six-year-old triplets (and their parents). We've been hanging out with these boys since they were born but, unfortunately, we don't get to see them as often since they left our neighborhood. They are so well behaved and we enjoy every opportunity we get to spend with them. In fact, we had hung out with the boys just the day before.

On Sunday we had an outdoor activity planned for our 10th date. However, even though the calendar said we were one week into spring, the thermometer reminded us that winter keeps a stronger hold on us than even that groundhog predicts. Since it was still so cold out, and rather than spend the day at home, we opted for a dinner date instead.

The restaurant was about a 40 minute ride from our home, but it was well worth the trip. We had cozy seats near the wood burning fireplace, with a spectacular view of the Atlantic from our table, a split of champagne for me, and Merlot for TH... a great place to while away a Sunday afternoon.  

For dinner, I ordered  two appetizers: the lobster quesadilla and the lump crab cake. while TH had a steak dinner. We pretty much licked our platters clean...the food was fabulous. Unfortunately, we didn't save any room for dessert. After draining our wine glasses and paying the bill, we crossed the street to sit on the sea wall and reminisce.

Nothing bad ever happens when we're near the ocean. We could stare at it all day long, in every season, and all sorts of weather, and still be awed. The novelty never wears off. And we never, ever, bicker when we're looking out to sea...it's like sacred ground. While there may be mountains, forests, and lakes that are every bit as majestic... nothing is as breath-taking as the ocean.

When we were dating we spent many hours at the shore, walking along the beach, riding our bikes, and making plans for our future. For some odd reason, we used to dream about one day living on a house boat. Of course, that was long before children and careers, when we were carefree and thought the future was endless. The reality is that we are not boaters, and have never owned a boat.

But the sea still calls to us after all these years together. We still love to take long walks, ride our bikes or drive road trips along the coast. Together we've driven the Pacific Coast Highway from San Diego to San Francisco, the intercoastal waterway from Florida to Virginia, the Maryland and Jersey Shores, and the entire New England coast from New Haven to Bar Harbor. It just never gets old. And how lucky are we to now be able to share walks with our grandsons along both the Atlantic and Pacific shores?

Unfortunately, as the sun started to go down on Sunday, the cold quickly chased us off the sea wall and back to our car. But we made one more stop on the drive home....for dessert, at Pinkberry's. So while it wasn't one of our more exciting, or original dates, we had a great time together...and that's really all that matters. You can't beat a day of good food, good wine, and good conversation with your best friend. It's what great memories are made of!

And all too soon we were home, where we are fortunate to live just a block from the beach. It makes me sad to think that there are millions of people in this world who have never seen an ocean. I pray I never have to live away from the coast and I count my blessings every day.

Date #9 - You Gotta Have Art

Before I start to tell you about our latest date, I have to comment on an earlier blog post.

While I was in California, I took a moment to whine about TH having worn the same blue velour shirts for 15 years. Well, I've been home now for 19 days, and TH has not worn either shirt since my return....not once.

Which can only mean one of two things. Either TH has finally figured out how to read this blog (doubtful), or one of you faithful readers took pity on me (or him) and squealed. Either way...it has worked. No more blue shirts.

And let me tell you what else this fashion plate did while I was away. We have a guest bedroom and, when it is unoccupied, I store my bulkier coats and suits in that closet. TH will sometimes stash his sweaters in the bureau drawers in that room. However, since our younger son and his family were visiting from the west coast, we cleared all our stuff out of the spare room before they arrived and crammed it back into our own closets.

When I returned home and unpacked my suitcase, I tried to make room in my closet once again. But lo and behold, there wasn't any room in the spare bedroom closet either. While I was away, TH apparently cleaned out his own closets and drawers and pretty much filled the spare closet and all the guest bureau drawers with his stuff. And this isn't off-season clothes, either...that gets stored down the spare room in the basement.

So I suppose that could be another reason why I haven't seen the blue shirts since. TH finally realized how much more casual clothes he owns that he doesn't have to wear the same thing over and over.

Okay, we now return to our regularly scheduled post....date #9. This was TH's choice and you'll never guess where he took us. This man continues to surprise me. We went to Boston's Museum of Fine Arts.

Now TH and the arts aren't usually found together in the same neighborhood, or even in the same sentence. This is a man who has never shown any interest in music, acting, photography, writing, drawing, painting, dance.....Not creating it, or admiring it....NADA!

I belong to the South Boston Arts Association and, when I was more involved, I would often drag TH along with me to open studios, poetry slams, gallery events, and other displays/performances. TH usually came along willingly (because there was almost always free wine and cheese available), but while there he would mostly commiserate with the few other non-artistic spouses and so he decided to create a club just for them. He quite appropriately called it the ASSES, although I never quite figured out what the acronym stood for...something about artists and their supportive spouses. Needless to say, they don't meet regularly.

And in thirty five years of marriage, TH and I have been to exactly two art museums together. One was the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, MA. We stopped there to break up the long ride back from Buffalo one summer. The other was the Getty in Los Angeles that we visited with a large group of family and friends. I loved both museums. As for TH....well, he was along for the ride. And he has NEVER, EVER, been to the MFA...not once in the 60 plus years he has lived in this city.

So imagine my shock when TH suggested we visit the MFA as one of our dates. (And NO....he didn't get the idea from the POTUS. He actually mentioned this about two months before Obama attended a fundraiser there last week.)

The shock subsided rather quickly, however, when TH brought home the tickets. He handed me two VIP passes. Correction: two Complimentary VIP passes. TH had scored a pair of FREE admission passes, with free parking included. THAT's the reason we were going to the MFA. The only reason. LOL.

Although it was yet another Saturday morning date, with no alcohol involved, we both had a nice time. Because the museum is huge (it would take weeks to explore fully), we arrived when it opened at 10am. Our first stop was the current exhibit by our DIL (or someone with the exact same name LOL).

Then we moved on to Nicholas Nixon's exhibit: Family Album. It's a fascinating collection by a local photographer, and features a series of photos that he took yearly of his wife and her three sisters, starting in 1975, the same year we were married. It was very moving to see the progression of time reflected on the faces of those four women and really hit home just how long a span of life there is in 35 years.

From there we dedicated the next couple hours to the Art of the Americas Wing. Wonderful...that's all I can say. We were in awe to see such national treasures. We are truly fortunate to live in a world class city with so much history. My favorite collection was the folk art....there's something about that medium that warms my heart and makes me very nostalgic.

And I was introduced to a new favorite artist: Scott Prior. I was entranced by a self-portrait of the artist and his wife in their bedroom...could barely pull myself away from it. It was an oil on linen, but looked so lifelike, almost like a photograph. Even TH was impressed. See it here. 

We had a late and leisurely lunch in the Garden Cafeteria overlooking the sunny courtyard...where we even discussed some of the impressive artwork we'd just seen. After lunch, we took a quick stroll through the gift shop. I'm always amazed that these gift shops sell fine jewelry. Now I can understand someone purchasing an expensive work of art at an museum gift shop...but jewelry? We didn't buy anything, of course. At this stage of the game, we just don't need any more 'stuff' in our lives.

Before leaving the museum, we stopped at one of my favorite galleries, the Egyptian collection in the Art of the Ancient World. TH was just as intrigued as I've always been to see the mummy cases and artwork from the burial tombs. Amazing craftsmanship that has stood the test of time.

And then we were ready to call it a date.

Indeed, it was not a bad way to spend the last day of (this seemingly never-ending) winter.

Date #8 - A New Way to Spar

TH and I went to a wedding together after we'd been married around 5 years. Seated at our table was a newlywed couple and, when they heard how looong we'd been married, the young husband asked TH for the secret to our looong marriage. As I giggled, TH didn't hesitate before answering, "We never go to bed angry."

Are we still married because we've never gone to bed angry??  Nope, we've never gone to bed angry.....because we stay up all night and argue.

Sorry, I couldn't resist the tired cheesy punch line. But the truth of the matter is that TH and I bicker. All the time. And THAT's why we are still married.

There are no pretenses in our relationship, no hidden hurt feelings, no silent treatment when one is angry. Nope...if one of us is upset, the other one will hear it... immediately. We don't swear at each other, ever. We are never disrespectful, and we try not to say anything we will ever regret.  I know it bothers our sons when we bicker, but the bottom line is that we get it off our chest, whatever is bothering us...and then it's OVER. Case closed. We just don't stay mad or hold grudges.

But this weekend we discovered a new way to settle our battles...FENCING!

The idea for date #8 arrived in my email inbox from Groupon. $29 each for four lessons in fencing. Well, why not. Let's give it a try!

It turns out that beginner fencing classes for adults are at 10am on Saturday mornings. Not exactly date nite, but we are flexible. The fencing club is on the second floor of a large building complex in an industrial park in Wilmington....about a 30 minute drive. We arrive at 9:45 as instructed, but the office is locked, so we explore the second floor which is completely uninhabited....and under construction.

It appears we are the only ones in the building and it is pretty scary that we are able to walk around in such an unsafe environment. We eventually find a rec.room next door to the fencing club where TH and I spend the next 10 minutes playing ping pong until the coaches finally arrive and open the doors.

Fencing was a whole new world for us, and our date was a lot of fun. We met the owner who was an olympic pentathelete that competed in three olympiads for three different countries. Our coach was a young man from Bulgaria who really did a great job introducing us to all the equipment and etiquette of fencing. After some warm up exercises, we learned some basic footwork and practiced "touching" our targets. It was amazing how quickly we caught on. It felt like we were kids again imitating Errol Flynn or playing Three Musketeer sword fights...engarde!

Then we were ready to suit up. I got a big kick out of the protective armor that ladies wear under their jackets...made me feel like I was finally a 'C' cup. LOL

It was interesting to learn that men wear chest protectors also, but they do NOT wear protective cups. And, although every part of the body is fair game during the bout, apparently the family jewels are off limits...gentleman's etiquette.

After we were dressed, we plugged one end of our jackets into the epee, and the other into an electronic score box....and we were ready to bout.

The first fencer to reach five "touches" wins the bout. I won the first match, TH won the second, and I won the rubber game. YES.

Unfortunately, the hour lesson passed all too quickly. It was really enjoyable, and I was amazed at how much we learned in that first lesson. However, even though our Groupon entitles us to four lessons each, I'm afraid we won't be returning.

Because, really, what's the point? (no pun intended). After the 4 lessons...then what? It's not like we would join the fencing club, purchase the gear, or start competing. But it was fun while it lasted. 

I guess it's back to bickering.