35 Years of Infamy

Today is December 7th. Pearl Harbor Day.

"A day which will live in infamy" not just for our nation, but also for The Husband and me.

We were married on this day in 1975...35 years ago.

So where are the fireworks and the bombs bursting in air?!

Here's where I recite my worn-out lament: "Even murderers get released after 20 years...I'm serving consecutive life sentences!"

Sure, we have what folks would consider a good solid marriage with two wonderful sons, now launched with families of their own. They've given us two beautiful daughters-in-law and two precious grandsons. We have a great family, loyal friends, and a comfortable castle we call home.

And we've faced none of the usual impediments to happiness: no infidelity, no drug/alcohol abuse, no gambling, no unemployment, no verbal/physical abuse, no major debt, no legal issues or court involvement, no conflict. ...basically NO Nothing, which unfortunately after 35 years has now evolved into: not much fun, not much laughter, not much intimacy, not much communication, not much in common, and certainly not much desire to keep dancing this same dance until death do us part.

Thus my url: till ennui do us part

Ennui
pronunciation: "on-wee"
definition: oppressive boredom, general lack of interest
synonym: tedium, languor, dissatisfaction, weariness
antonym: excitement

However, to prevent our marriage from appearing under the dictionary definition above, it's time to explore how to travel from ennui to excitement.

Much of our boredom comes from the highly over-rated 'empty nest' and the deafening silence that accompanies it. Therefore, we've welcomed numerous guests and relatives to our spare bedroom through the years, and we hope they'll continue to grace our presence. Meals just taste better when we set out more than two place settings!

Now how shall we celebrate 35 years of marriage? (Elsewhere on this blog page you'll find a box that describes past celebrations.)
A trip?... we just returned six days ago from a two week stay in L.A. and now that we have a grandson there, that's where most of our travels will take us.
A party?... although our family is relatively small, it's crazy difficult to coordinate schedules and get all our loved ones together for any holiday, let alone a party in December.
Gifts?...the traditional gift for a 35th wedding anniversary is coral or jade. I love both colors, but not a fan of either stone.

The best idea I heard came from a co-worker who last year celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary with 30 dates, culminating on their 31st anniversary. What a great idea...We're stealing it!

Think about it: All relationship experts, therapists, and advice columnists always remind parents to set aside a regular date nite while they are raising kids; to make time for themselves as a couple, to keep their relationship vibrant. But what happens when the children are grown and gone and every night can be date nite? Guess what....it doesn't happen.

So we are borrowing the idea, and we are celebrating our 35 years of marriage with 35 dates.... and not just any dates; these will be new, exciting, and different dates. And if we can check items off our bucket list in the process, all the better. We've set the ground rules (they can be found in another box somewhere on this blog page), now we just need to make them happen. Our first date will be tonite. Then we'll begin thrice-monthly dates after the holidays.

We'd appreciate any suggestions, recommendations, along the way. We will avail ourselves of that world wide web (that wasn't even a wet dream when we married) to find great deals and ideas using Groupon, Bostix, Restaurant.com, BostonBargains, Eversave, Facebook, Yelp, BuyWithMe, Boston.com, etc.

I plan to blog after each of our dates. And just in case our kids/families are reading this...you will only get the PG version. Check back often and see if we succeed in bringing the joy and excitement back to our marriage. Gotta go....it's DATE NITE!

Oops...actually gotta go to work first. And then, believe it or not, we still don't have any plans for our celebration this evening. But I promise it will be fun. Stay tuned!